My counselor told me early on that I was going to stumble, it was only a matter of when. I didn’t believe her and I fought even harder to stay clean. But she was right; I did stumble. But now that I had tasted freedom and learned to walk in Jesus’ grace, I responded differently than I ever had before. I knew that it was a sin and I confessed it to Jesus. No excuses. I owned it and my heart broke as I said it out loud to my Savior.
I had also made a promise to myself that if I ever slipped I would have to tell my accountability partner. I would have rather had my toenails plucked out! I didn’t want to tell her but I knew I had no choice. So I did. And lightning didn’t strike and my friend didn’t leave. I had to be accountable if I was going to experience true healing in my life. I had to share even though I was embarrassed. So I put on my big girl pants, moved forward and chose not to let my slip up define me; only Jesus could define me! This was the process any time I messed up; and it never gets any easier.
So what do you do when you’ve repented and suddenly screw up? You confess it to God and to your accountability partner. You step back and look at your life and see any safeguards that are missing or need to be replaced. You ask God to show you any rebellion that that is still in your heart and you surrender your desire to indulge in sin to Jesus. You step ahead and start counting your clean days again, spend time with God through scripture and prayer, and moment by moment you fight the desire that once ruled every part of your life.
We will struggle with our sins the rest of our life, especially our addictions and habitual sins; but once we have Jesus, we are no longer defined by our sin-we are defined by Jesus! Be real. Be honest. And don’t hide. It. Is. Worth. It.
1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.”