If you asked me ten years ago where I would be right now, there is no way I could have imagined my life like it is today. Ten years ago I was a puddle of dirt and grime melted on a truck seat in the Goody’s parking lot. Ten years ago I was confronted by a great friend who had the courage to ask me about the sites she saw on my computer. Ten years ago I came face to face with Jesus and he gave me a second chance. Ten years ago I never imagined being able to pull myself up off the floor, much less walk, run or soar.
In anticipation of this ten year anniversary, I asked to share my testimony at Celebrate Recovery in the large group this past week. There were no nerves the entire time I was up there. As embarrassing and hard as it is to talk about my struggles, I also know the importance of talking about what Jesus has done in my life. If I can encourage even one person to drop those chains of sin and walk in freedom, it’s worth it. It was my joy to share about grace and redemption.
My heart has been extremely full this week. I’ve had so many times of reflection on what God has done in this past decade of walking more closely with him. God has changed everything from the inside out, preserving the best parts and amplifying those things with his purpose, hope, and direction. I know he’s nowhere close to being finished, but I am so grateful for the direction he has taken my life.
As I have been reflecting this past month, I find myself singing Casting Crowns’ song, Loving My Jesus. I’ve included the words and the video below. Take a few minutes and read them. Listen to the song. I think my favorite part is in the first verse and chorus where it says, “I heard you call my name, I felt you lift my shame, and I made a vow that day, that I’d spend the rest of my life, Loving my Jesus, showing my scars, telling my story of how mercy, can reach you where you are, and I pray the whole world hears, the cry of my heart, is to see the ones I love, loving my Jesus.” I remember telling God that if he would help me get on the other side, if he would show me how to fight and beat this addiction, that I would do whatever he asked me to do. I would go wherever he said go, talk to whoever he sent me, and share my story whenever he lead me to do so. I will never forget that day and it’s my privilege to fulfill my end of the bargain.
Please enjoy this song and ask yourself if you are living a life of Loving Jesus.
I was a wandering soul Traveling a well worn road A sinner so far from home No second chance in sight I heard You call my name I felt You lift my shame And I made a vow that day That I'd spend the rest of my life Loving my Jesus Showing my scars Telling my story of how mercy Can reach You where You are And I pray the whole world hears The cry of my heart Is to see all the ones I love Loving my Jesus Sin tries to make you hide Whispers that same old lie Keep all your pain inside 'Cause no one will understand The last thing this lost world needs Is someone I'm trying to be Truth that has set me free Is that I'm just a broken man Loving my Jesus Showing my scars Telling my story of how mercy Can reach You where You are And I pray the whole world hears The cry of my heart Is to see all the ones I love Loving my Jesus When all is said and done When my last song's been sung I stand face to face with the One Who gave all for me May all I have to show Be all that mattered most Making Your great name known Let this be my only legacy Loving my Jesus Showing my scars Telling my story of how mercy Can reach You where You are And I pray the whole world hears The cry of my heart Is to see all the ones I love Oh, all the ones I love Loving my Jesus
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