No one can drag me to Jesus. They can hold my hand, hold me up, move me forward; but they cannot take that huge step that turns my back to the world.
I am the only person who can choose Jesus instead of my sin. I am the only one who can stop blaming everyone and everything and simply own my mistakes. I am the only one who can say I am tired of living in bondage and pain and say it is time to step away from shame and into God’s loving arms.
I must choose to face my consequences. I must choose to be obedient even when what Jesus asks me to do is incredibly hard. I must have unconditional obedience with no compromise allowed. I must choose to fight my old habits, actions, and sins to the point of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion.
No more selfish living. No more ladder climbing and people pleasing. No more secrets or lies. No more fake faces or hidden motivations. No more staking claim behind “my rights”. Instead, I must sacrifice my life and lay it down for Jesus. I must embrace my weakness, recognizing that when I am weak, HE is strong. I must allow Jesus to take all of the brokenness and rebuild it to make something beautiful. My definition can’t be in who I was, but instead, wholly in Jesus Christ. Humility has to be the glasses I view the world through and grace the cloak that covers me from head to toe.
True repentance means I surrender all-all the time, every second, every day. No excuses! No looking back. It’s all or nothing. Jesus is everything. My old life is nothing. It is more than walking an aisle and praying a prayer; it’s a total life restart going the opposite way. Relationships will change. Supposed friends will leave. Temptations will come from all sides and Satan will stop at no end to get me back on his side. But if my heart is truly repentant, I will stand my ground. I will solidly rest in the promises of Jesus Christ. Everything is lost. All is forsaken. But I gain my life back; a life of meaning and purpose. It’s a life worth living; a life of grace, surrender, and freedom. It’s a life filled with hope as I walk with Jesus; the same Jesus who died so that I may live. It. Is. Worth. It.